Today, I am so gonna confess here, after spending my whole afternoon looking back at my own work-my website, my fb fanpage, and my blog.
I can’t believe that I had just updated 2 posts in 2.5 years here! And the last post was actually me giving all my ‘good excuses’ for not being able to update/write more to share what I have been doing from time to time.
I searched deep into my soul today. Why? Why din’t I write or share more? Am I really that busy? Come on… everyone is busy, there are soooo many famous photographers that I believe they have to shoot almost everyday and yet, they can do so well in this. Why can’t I? Because I have 2 children? Or because of my kids get sick too often? Or I am always busy editing photos when I am in front of PC? But… writing a post could just take half an hour or so, right?
How could I not sharing anything for such long time?!?! Now I understand why were some moms asking for more ‘sample photos’. I used to tell them to visit to my website/facebook fanpage and my blog to view my portfolio but only now I realized, there aren’t too many for them to view there! In fact, I checked on my hard drive and found that I have over 100 sets of photos yet to be shared or updated.
Well, today, I have to face myself. I have to be true to myself. I have to answer my own question (and perhaps many moms’ question too. :P).
My confession today: I am not sharing / updating much BECAUSE I can’t write!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t write well!!! Gosh, I regretted so much that I did not study hard enough to possess GOOD ENGLISH. I can’t express well in English. Can’t write what I wanna tell from me inside, can’t put them into sentences. Gosh, poor vocab too!
There were times that I thought, ‘a photo could tell a thousand words’, and I am a photographer hence what I need to do is to share what I have captured-my photos! But I, too, believe in this:
So, I really wish to be able to ‘write’ something to express what I feel inside…
Anyway, after much blaming of my own bad English, I, still, have to face myself and be true to myself. After all, I can’t just get my English improved in few days or few weeks time. Perhaps I could borrow Aladdin’s lamp and rub on it? I could tell the Genie for ONE good wish — my better English! But wait… would I wanna make that wish? Or another ‘better’ wish eg. to get rich right away? LOL!!!!!!!!! Can’t believe that I can still joke about my wish for better English.
So, at the end of the day, I decided to ———–> use my current ‘broken English’ to keep writing, updating and sharing what I have with me from time to time with a ‘better’ frequency. Haha! And at the same time, I should do more of below:
1. Watch more English movies, TV dramas eg. The Arrow (that I am watching now) with English subtitle on, of coz, so that I can really learn as I have another weakness which is to get what others say when they are speaking English. LOL! Gosh, I have so many weaknesses!
2. Read more books, of coz! (Or may be some romantic novels first, to prevent myself falling asleep at the first few pages?)
3. Listen to English songs and learn to sing them (Yay! Guess I am doing this now, starting with my little gal’s baby rhymes haha…)
4. Encourage my elder gal to speak English with me than to just want her to speak Mandarin with me (which is what I am doing now, as she is studying in an English primary school and I am hoping that she could pick up Chinese for her future use. I don’t want her to ‘blame’ me in future if she cannot read Chinese words or sing Chinese Karaoke songs…haha)
5. Eat more Western food? (wahahahahaha…. well, no harm trying right?)
6. Find something to ‘argue’ or ‘debate’ with my hubby (LOL!!!!!!!! Can’t let go of any good way to improve my English that I can easily do at home…. My hubby can speak much much better English than me and whenever he argues with me, he loves to converse in English, somehow, and I don’t know why, but may be I know why now (when I am typing this!!!!!!!!!! So that I would not win the argument ‘that easily’!!! Haha… but then, for most of our arguments so far, I won always.)
7. Will keep looking for more ways until I meet Aladdin….:P
Actually, I have thought of updating my post using Chinese language (seeing that I got an A1 for my Chinese subject during my SPM exam)… but then, another weakness of me – I can’t type Chinese fast using keyboard as my PinYin is not good, and that could be ‘torturing’ too…!
Hahahahhaha……… but just like what my sister always advises me, ‘BE POSITIVE!!!!’ So ‘may be’ one day, I will be doing both English and Chinese ?!?!?!?! No harm HOPING too right? Wahahahhaha……………..
Last but not least, for those that really spend time reading my posts (I swear that there are gonna be so many posts upcoming!), thank you for your time and love towards me and most importantly, please pardon my ‘broken English’ first until I reach my ‘English’ peak yea… Muacks!!!